At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
