Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
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