is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
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