hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
