so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
