k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
