On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Randomize
