theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
