In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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