So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
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we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
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is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
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