You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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