By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
