Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
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I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
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I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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