i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
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