drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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