he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
