the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
