And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
How many fucks given?
0.12846
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
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