i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
