Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Randomize
