And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
