Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
