I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Send help, water and tortillas.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
