I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
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