you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
