I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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