also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
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By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
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Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
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