She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
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