bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
