i was rollin on her like bob the builder
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
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