You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
