my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Why is there bacon in the couch?
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
