Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
