I love black thongs
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I just sucked dick on a ferry
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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