I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
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and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
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Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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