i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
the raccoons are back...
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