Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
