none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
the liver wants what the liver wants
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
pray to the hookup gods
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
