I think I am morally bankrupt
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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