Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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