Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
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