My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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