Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
