Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Randomize
