Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Randomize