we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
