hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize