Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
