Soap is not a condiment
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Randomize
