i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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