I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
