yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
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