I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
