Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
i just sent this text using only my big toe
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
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