They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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