she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Randomize
