He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
