belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Randomize
