there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
You are a genius and a whore.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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