you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
