4 words: hood of his car
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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