Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize