I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
