The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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